Bound to drift apart |:

I cannot deny, deep down inside, that I am angry somehow. Nor am I able to deny this feeling of sadness, frustration and dejection. Somehow, it gives me a feeling that each and every person is insulting the friendship that we had, the memories that we share and bond that we built. 

Yes, I'm trying to see that it is not my fight anymore, when people don't listen, nor do they even try to share, and only say that they are tired, and don't wish to talk about it anymore. It was a problem, and it is still is, if people only think they are tired and refuses to make it happen together. 

Run, go on, run as far as you can, and point the finger back to people you run from. Everyone is tired and running in opposite direction while pointing at each other. You think its fun trying to reach out to all direction, trying to hold everyone back a little just so we can try to resolve this issue. 

But no. I'm not going to say it's not fun and that I am tired here. Because I will end up like everyone who did.

(Quoted from FB)

I hate it when I am able to relate to sadness, unhappiness and dejection :( It's really sad when people you know become people that you knew and how you used to be able to talk to them and now you can barely look at them. Its as if nobody takes you seriously.. From somebody that I can plan my calendar with to somebody I used to know.. Like everybody is bound to drift apart.. I hate the fact that I have to tell someone oh, I used to be close with him/her, oh, when we hanged out tgt this and that blah blah blah~ What happened to putting in effort to stay tgt.?? I keep telling myself to accept those facts.. Look, how many primary school friends do you rmb.? I can say almost none.. Look at this fact, we are all gonna drift apart and end up being alone someday. I told myself these goodbyes are part and parcel of my life.. But tbh, tears well up every single time I miss the past. I will never understand how fast things and people can change. I've seen people who can be really close to you for like 3 days and then boom, they disappeared all of the sudden. Now with facebook, the pain just multiply by a thousand times. Whenever I look at those past albums.. I can see people who are never ever gonna appear in my future albums.. Even the closest ones.. And thats what hurts the most.. How did this happen.? I seriously hate this.. And I hate what I am feeling now.. If I miss something, I will definitely use my actions to prove it.. But some people, don't deserve this, and don't worth my time. I know, I know. I hate that I care for people who used to care about me (even though idk if they were real).. That day when I went to mei's house.. I saw those polaroids.. I took photos of them.. But what for.? I can't even post them up and tell the whole world how much I miss those times.. Cuz those people are gone like forever.. China or where Idk lah hor.. Just gone.. I just really want to breakdown every single time my heart aches :( Everything changed, I hate how life works.

& so i told myself that words don't mean anything, unless your actions comply to them. Posting IMY everyday is not going to bring back anything if you don't do something about it. Don't post for the sake of posting cuz all you have got nth else to post. So you post about your beautiful past memories which you won't ever have now. yeap, all those words, though not lie, are worst than lies. Give hopes and crush them.. Slam straight into their faces if they could see it.. Sometimes I wonder, what else can you sacrifice.? Wealth, health, friendships and even family...? If you chose and create loneliness, please don't regret it (: And stop saying things which you don't have the intention to do it.. haha, you think I dont't have the means to give my friends a bday treat myself? Gave you a chance but you seem to be throwing it away.. Suan le ba, this small money, I can help you to pay (: & tbh, I also have the means to pay for my own needs.. Do you think I really need you? Nope. Talk no action once again. I can take action myself (:

------------------------------

Today was a bad day.. Late for class..

Fluuuuu and runny nose for the whole day.. Cold until wanna die...

My CDS: Understanding Theatre.. I am the only one that cannot upload my journals~!!

Sir said, stress are absorbed by your body and will affect you physically..

So true, so true :(

PS: Just because you miss someone, doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Missing is just a part of moving on.