100th

Its my 100th post~!
This is my longest surviving blog since my lower sec blog which I've already private it cuz I was really retarded back then.. And my blog was really kuku.. Blue blue and kuku !

Dedicating my 100th post to Peishan & Samantha (:
Promised to write them my long long birthday wishes isn't it.?? (: Here I am.

TO SAMANTHA TAN WAN TING:
Hello bitch (: Ok now Idk what to tell you already la ! I know you take all my bullshit.. Say that I already telling you rubbish when I am sober cannot imagine if i am drunk..! Seriously you know whenever i tell you things its like i don't really expect anything out of it.. I just feel like sharing things to you uh.. I guess you're just someone I can trust fully.. I know you judge me to the maximum la.. But no matter what you are still there for me when I need you I guess.? I mean like.. you just let me rot at your house or whatever la.. Gosh, our friendship is just so weird.. you know sometimes I feel so unwanted by you! haha, but every time your blog, you text and everything just reminds me that you still treat me as your friend just that you don't really know how to express your concern (: I guess I can understand.. You've been in front of your computer for like dk how many years, you are just better at typing out what you think rather than saying it out.. I know A levels is important to you and you sincerely want to do well! I wish you all the best for your As and I bet you're going to score well ! You've the discipline that I lack.. You can control your mind, what you think and how you think. You've seen a lot too I guess.. I wish I could be like you sometimes, poker face, act like a nth, and control my emotions like a pro.. But I guess I can never do that.?! That is just not Shiman LOL. Can I wish that you will leave your house more often after A levels.? hahahaha :3 Thank you for being my friend for like since primary school.. Every time I am about to do smth wrong, you appear in my mind, hahaha! Sam will kill me for this ! Keeps me sane and keeps me going.. & for you, you know that I am here for you la! Throw all your troubles to me if you want a listening ear and also, you know I will help financially or physically or emotionally if i can de la hor ! So if you know I can help, just approach (: xoxo

TO YEO PEI SHAN:
I wanted to tell you a lot of things.. But always cannot say in your face, cuz you always shoot me lah ! Shiman ahh, you damn stupid ahh.. Why ah shiman whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! LOL! Later you shoot me again uhhhh! You are an understanding girl, and you know how to move on when you should ! Every once in a while think about the past, its okay la (: I am surprise how we became friends really! I thought you hated me during lower secs.. cuz like I was not your clique or wtv.. But now I guess we're stuck tgt and things have become a lot better for us.. I can't rmb how we transit and became friends eh.. Just like that lor ! you play really hard and work really hard ! Continue to do that yo!! I really salute you cuz you are always so focus and not confused by those worthless things.. Even if something bad comes before you, you still know how to shift it away and focus on what's most important.. You don't get affected by your emotions easily and thats really admirable ! Hahas, I am really glad to have you as a friend now, you always know what to do, and although you might seems pissy at times, I know in your heart you are not that angry luh hor (: All the best for A levels, rmb to take some time out to relax and enjoy.. Holland V got a lot of nice food yo! If not more white hairs coming out le uh ! I will try to make the chalet the best even if you cannot make it, you must enjoy your trip tooo ^^ Your soul is with us I know (:

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Its hard to smile these days because nothing seems to affect me.. Been through too much.. I am not sad but just not happy.. Every smile brings me sadness.. Now I smile because I am touched, touched that you guys are still by my side.. The pain of important pple leaving my life will never leave me.. Just like if someone impt dies, the pain stays in your heart forever.. People that are alive, I can only cherish them, and smile at them. but that doesnt mean I forgot the pain.. Its still there, it will always be there (': I choose to believe in the goodness, and remember the dead at his best (': Tears welling up in my eyes for no good reason, awake in the bus for no good reason.. Physical change and mental change, its to obvious to even ignore them, just gonna accept myself for who I am.. I am like this.. Wounds heals but scars remains.. Looking for a reason to live and not merely existing.. Looking for my enthusiasm still.. Still want to believe that I will find the reason some where some time.. Just have to be brave and not to be afraid of this world.. 有人说：“你不可以这样的，要相信” I will try (: