Blurrrrrrest !

I've gotta post about this..
I never thought I'd be blur to this extent..
I know I am a blursotong.. But this is seriously tooooooo blur~!! I cannot stand myself anymore!! Just posted previously that I need to be more focus and everything and now this happen !!! >:( Quite disappointed and angry with myself!!

Ok so this is what happened. I reached my workplace at around 10.30 ytd to change into my uniform. I was punctual, no rush at all.. Just a bit tired from my lack of sleep.. So I happily change into my uniform, went for lunch at the canteen and start work... Then 2300! Time to go home! I took off my uniform and opened my bag, guess what, I BLOODY HELL CANT FIND MY CLOTHES INSIDE MY BAG! I WAS SO PANIC AND SCARED! TOTALLY IN SHOCKKKK!!!! (Yeah, I didn't put my clothes into my bag in the morning /: ) one of the blurrest thing I ever done in my 18 years of life although I do have many embarrassing moments. SiXian was like, don't tell me you cant find ur shirt hor ! but LUCKILY NOBODY TOOK MY SHIRT FOR THE PAST 12 HOURS! It was still laying at the place i put it.. But damn I swear I really freaked out /:/: I really need to learn how to be more careful with my stuffs *Phew*

Sad part is that GuoWen keeps pushing me to share with her smth that I dont even wanna bring it up anymore. Sorry babe, its not that i don't trust you, its not that idw to share, its just that I cant. I want everyone to rmb them as the most beautiful them (: I cannot bear to spoil any of their image (:

In your memory, its a beautiful them, let it stay this way (:

PS: I tried remembering your password, but I don't remember it anymore ( : Two down !

Skyfall: 007

Have not been updating on my life I guess? Super lazy pig over here..
Anw I caught Skyfall: 007 with KL !!

I'd say the movie is not bad~!! hehe ^^ Enjoyed the gun shooting a lot.. & that Old lady finally die.. RIP M (':
But all in all I still hate war shows esp those that shows army that chiong to each other and blah blah blah.. Shooting Lord of the rings indirectly >_< ( I tried so hard to finish the 3 movies but.. I am still not done with it )

I want to blog about Sixian's prom and Kranji Badminton Camp but not now! Cuz I still have learning session 4 to be done~! Sigh !!

This week was really a busy week, so ytd when I came home from camp, I slept like 13h straight till 10am this morning.. But nevertheless it was not a peaceful sleep ! I still had nightmare.. Random people that I don't even contact with ! Dreamt of them laughing at my GPA !! Wtf !! Sigh.. What a nightmare >:(

Looking forward to dinz with PehLayTeng, PehLayPing & BingBong tonight <3 Its been awhile since 4 of us go out and keesiao together. Just Fun, Joy & Laughter.. Looking forward to next week too (:

But on the side note, I need to stop going out after next week, just to concentrate on my studies for awhile~ Shiman! You can do it!! (:

Bye!

PS: Life Goes On (:

Why can't I nap /:

Since when did I became like this?
Since that incident?
Yes, since that time, since that frigging time.

On board of 168 from tamp to woodlands. Having a seat, but I just can't fall asleep. Its been months this physical change is affecting me. I rmb the old me. The old me where I have the ability to doze off at any bus rides. even the shortest rides like 10min?! But now, even if I'm taking from one end to the other end of sg, I just cant fall asleep.. And thats the reason why am I blogging now... Too bored on board yet I JUST CANNOT FCUKING SLEEP~! Arghh.. Dreams still haunts me every sleep but I guess I'm getting used to all those random yet vivid dreams. Except if it happens when I'm about to wake up. Those dreams just suck all my energy.. i wish I know how to make full use of my time..

Today. Disappointed. On the verge of tearing. Cuz of School. I'm actually glad that I still care about my school work.. Haha, I do care I guess? But cuz of a small mistake i got penalised like a lot.. So it was really depressing and demoralising. Even my tutor said she was sorry to penalise me so heavily but sigh, I can only blame myself for being so carless.. SM ah SM, you need to be more focus and less blur okay???!! Believe that you are able to make up for it !!

PS: 他们说: 傻人有傻福 - NOOOO! You need to be more careful and stop being a foolish blur blur !!! *Fighting*

Break ups

I am being random.. These thoughts just came by me.. /:

So many relationships around me going crazy and all..

I feel sad for them.. Some are better off some aren't..

But just a little note from my point,

breaking up because the feelings are just not there anymore, and you tell the truth to the other party, I guess its okay, its better.. But breaking up when both of you have feelings for each other, when its because of all those lies cause by greediness and when you know things won't work out anymore.. I guess this situations hurts so much more.. 

Time for breakfast & school in this rainy weather :(

Sigh pie day ahead :(

PS: Just be glad that it is not you (:

Bound to drift apart |:

I cannot deny, deep down inside, that I am angry somehow. Nor am I able to deny this feeling of sadness, frustration and dejection. Somehow, it gives me a feeling that each and every person is insulting the friendship that we had, the memories that we share and bond that we built. 

Yes, I'm trying to see that it is not my fight anymore, when people don't listen, nor do they even try to share, and only say that they are tired, and don't wish to talk about it anymore. It was a problem, and it is still is, if people only think they are tired and refuses to make it happen together. 

Run, go on, run as far as you can, and point the finger back to people you run from. Everyone is tired and running in opposite direction while pointing at each other. You think its fun trying to reach out to all direction, trying to hold everyone back a little just so we can try to resolve this issue. 

But no. I'm not going to say it's not fun and that I am tired here. Because I will end up like everyone who did.

(Quoted from FB)

I hate it when I am able to relate to sadness, unhappiness and dejection :( It's really sad when people you know become people that you knew and how you used to be able to talk to them and now you can barely look at them. Its as if nobody takes you seriously.. From somebody that I can plan my calendar with to somebody I used to know.. Like everybody is bound to drift apart.. I hate the fact that I have to tell someone oh, I used to be close with him/her, oh, when we hanged out tgt this and that blah blah blah~ What happened to putting in effort to stay tgt.?? I keep telling myself to accept those facts.. Look, how many primary school friends do you rmb.? I can say almost none.. Look at this fact, we are all gonna drift apart and end up being alone someday. I told myself these goodbyes are part and parcel of my life.. But tbh, tears well up every single time I miss the past. I will never understand how fast things and people can change. I've seen people who can be really close to you for like 3 days and then boom, they disappeared all of the sudden. Now with facebook, the pain just multiply by a thousand times. Whenever I look at those past albums.. I can see people who are never ever gonna appear in my future albums.. Even the closest ones.. And thats what hurts the most.. How did this happen.? I seriously hate this.. And I hate what I am feeling now.. If I miss something, I will definitely use my actions to prove it.. But some people, don't deserve this, and don't worth my time. I know, I know. I hate that I care for people who used to care about me (even though idk if they were real).. That day when I went to mei's house.. I saw those polaroids.. I took photos of them.. But what for.? I can't even post them up and tell the whole world how much I miss those times.. Cuz those people are gone like forever.. China or where Idk lah hor.. Just gone.. I just really want to breakdown every single time my heart aches :( Everything changed, I hate how life works.

& so i told myself that words don't mean anything, unless your actions comply to them. Posting IMY everyday is not going to bring back anything if you don't do something about it. Don't post for the sake of posting cuz all you have got nth else to post. So you post about your beautiful past memories which you won't ever have now. yeap, all those words, though not lie, are worst than lies. Give hopes and crush them.. Slam straight into their faces if they could see it.. Sometimes I wonder, what else can you sacrifice.? Wealth, health, friendships and even family...? If you chose and create loneliness, please don't regret it (: And stop saying things which you don't have the intention to do it.. haha, you think I dont't have the means to give my friends a bday treat myself? Gave you a chance but you seem to be throwing it away.. Suan le ba, this small money, I can help you to pay (: & tbh, I also have the means to pay for my own needs.. Do you think I really need you? Nope. Talk no action once again. I can take action myself (:

------------------------------

Today was a bad day.. Late for class..

Fluuuuu and runny nose for the whole day.. Cold until wanna die...

My CDS: Understanding Theatre.. I am the only one that cannot upload my journals~!!

Sir said, stress are absorbed by your body and will affect you physically..

So true, so true :(

PS: Just because you miss someone, doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Missing is just a part of moving on.

Ah Boys to Men

A JACK NEO FILM.

So.... I went to catch this movie a few hours ago with MeiTongYap (:
And today was a longgg dayyyy, this will not be my only post cuz I've so much to talk about.. Yeah, I am this talkative and nonsensical (: Cannot tahan myself sometimes..

Haha, back to topic. Ah Boys To Men.
I. DON'T. KNOW. HOW. TO. APPRECIATE. THIS. MOVIE. >:(

The above statements says it all...
When everybody was hyped about this movie, I got interested..
Then MeiTong asked me to go and watch...
I only view the trailer today during break.. I LMAO DUE TO THE LAMENESS..
Claimed to have the most visual effects of local movies..
I guess so.? But the effects are... errr... I am speechless about it..
I almost wanted to text Tong that Idw to watch this movie.. I rather watch twilight or Skyfall ._.
But I know Tong doesn't really like english movies.. sooo.. I was hoping the movie will be more meaningful than the trailer since everybody is saying that its a movie worth watching..

To my disappointment, I almost wanted to fall asleep in the theatre..

Anw, war shows are not my type.
Its really saddening to watch them. Yet this movie made it a joke. So I wanna cry cannot cry, wanna laugh cannot laugh. Whut, like really whutttt~!!!?! Sigh..

Waste my monehh :(

(Lazy to attach pictures and trailers blah blah blah)

Extraordinary

Tasted extraordinary. Can't go back to ordinary.

Quoted: 还是没习惯国内的生活，总感觉缺少了些什么.虽然回到了家.但并没有想象中家的温暖.是长大了 还是我变了...

生活变了，我们也变了，怎么还会习惯那平平淡淡的生活呢？
尝了山珍海味，又有谁还会说家常便饭好吃呢？可能吧。不过那就要你吃得腻了。如果就是轻轻的尝了一口，你难道不会想吃下去吗？Of course, the life you experienced was so colourful, to expect yourself to get use to the plain life once again, its gonna be hard, and you will not be used to it definitely. Life is such irony. You want thrills and yet you want inner peace.

Tonight is one of the night where negative emotions comes to haunt me.
Someone told me how I wish I was prettier and richer. I told that someone, neither r/s nor friendship should go for that. But tonight I don't have that confident for my statement. You need to be pretty on the outside and the inside before anyone wants you. It's like wtfff, but that is how harsh this world is right now. Tonight is a bad night. Should be doing against rather be doing. Should be washing, studying, ah wtv. but I am not. Pretty wasted my night :(

I don't have that confident anymore.
Cuz life is so harsh upon us.

Fairness? Only Time has it. Time stop for no one and speed up for no one.
But sometimes I wish I can there is a pause button, really, I only need a pause button /:

Stress is the only word for me now /:

PS: To be able to memorise the shape of a P, you're blessed (:

Work

Yesterday WengLoong asked Jastine and me, why do you want to work?
I didn't know how to answer I swear. Just feel like doing it? Im not sure myself. To say that I am short of cash? Not really. I am too free so I work? Also not really. Its just that when you start to work, its like part of your life, you feel like you have to do it.. Although I dont have much commitment to this part time job, but yeah, I still go back to this place after so many challenges isn't it?

Working is like my CCA |: Thats all I can say..

So many times, I wanted to leave that place, that cursed place.. & every single time I go back. At least for now, it's just work, MeiTong and Sixian.. Too straight.? Nah I don't think so. Everyone else have their own life and they actually don't really give a shit about you.. Making use of you and everything, argh, whatever.. Its about 2 years since I worked here.. Although in between there were times that I really left, 3 months of haitus during the start of this year, and subsequently don't feel like coming to work and everything, I am still stuck here rn. SADLY :(

Even though I met a lot of sad things at this place, this place taught me a lot. Showed me the true colours of the evil world. Without evil I won't know what is good, so I am thankful too. Now, its just pure working. "The feeling of meeting new people cures your loneliness but only temporary.. How I wished it was permanent.." hahaha, this is quoted (: People I met in this place, from the worst to the best, so different, so different.

Ytd, I saw so many ppl I know once again.. Paper1, paper2, Olvl~! hahaha~! Reminds me of those retarded times we had together while working last time~! Sweet and sour memories hehe ^^

I want to leave so badly, but sometimes its just that I am used to it :(

--

My To-Do-List after next week's run for hope:
- Find Guowen, Meitong & AhMei to ICESKATEE (:
- SWIMMING (:

Hope life will be more relaxing and things will go according to my imagination for once(:

PS: Another girl like that. Doubting faithfulness :<

Just not at home /:

Yaye, naye? Had been staying out really too often.. Till the point I wonder if my mom is angry with me or not /:

So here's the update of some beautiful memories that I'd love to keep (:

24-25 October 2012

My dearest AhMei's birthday celebrations <3
On 24th, it was dinner with MeiTong, SiXian & her! Meitong and me treated them the dinner.. (Don't rly know how to post this section here due so some pissy reason, it's okay though <: )
Its been so long since 4 of us came together to meet up, talk rubbish, take pictures and all that crap we do lah hor ! Miss you girls a lot.. We're all busy with our lives, we don't really have time, but tadaa, we still love one another so so much! Tongtong came all the way from SengKang to Jurong to help them celebrate ok!

So we ate some korean food at JCube and took Neoprint and talk rubbish! Hehe ^^
MeiTong stayed over at my house cuz my parents were overseas~ LUCKILY SHE STAYED OVER! THERE WAS A FUCKING COCKROACH IN MY ROOM! SUPERWOMAN MEITONG HELPED ME TO BAYGON-ED IT !!!! <3 YOU LIKE MAD! Thankkew wan sui wan sui ! (: Then the bro helped to clear away the dead body! Hahahaha, mad love these kids! (:

Then on the 25th, I went bpp after school to but P.Osh cheesecake to Ahmei's house and celebrate with her again lor~! With her Qt cousin~!!! <3

Some photos with my Qt pies ^^

27-28 October 2012

Going to cassandra's house to have a feast and celebrate her 18th birthday!

Similarly to the previous year, her mom cooked like tons of food, literally tons of food to fill those hungry beasts!! The boys ate like non-stop and the food depleting rate at the start was horrific to even witness! LOL, it was quite a night. I didnt want to leave so badly cuz they were all like staying and tonning but I had to leave to lorraine's 21st which I promised my cous that I'd be there with her /:

So after eating the best lagsana on earth, shark fin soup, chicken wings, desserts, tiramisu cake etc etc, I left for lorraine's 21st at Pasir ris chalet..! :D

My eyebags here.. wthh.. >:(

Anw happy birthday lorraine ~! hehehe, all grown up already !!

She have great family and friends that was so welcoming even though Idk most of them!!

Hehe, great to have known here <3

3-4 November 2012

Stayed over at Park Regis Hotel to celebrate Sixian's and Afi's birthday! YAYE!

No words can describe the time I spent with them.. Love them all <3

Decorations, photos, polaroids and full of shocks instead of surprises that day, haha, I JUST LOVE THESE PEOPLE TTM~~!!!!

And like 4 person finished 3/4 Vodka in 1 hour.. I think we drank a bit too fast.. So haha, almost all of us puked and become part-time merlion /: Afiqah was the worst LOL, She. Was. Drunk. !! She was sprouting nonsense and making the sounds of birds! LOL, and she talked non stop for like the whole night until she sleep.. The whole room stink of vomit but haha, it was a fun night.. I CRIED FOR GOD SAKE :( It's like I become so emotional when I think about blah blah blah! Weiling said: 你有我们还不够吗？ I don't mean you girls are not good or anything! You girls are the best I could ever ask for.. But.. the heartache of losing a friend is still there no matter what.. Its like having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you want to give up all your friends isn't it.?? Its like you have 2 same pens, you lost one, although you still have the other one, you still feel the loss.. Arghh.. /: Me is greedy yes :(

Haha, photos here!

With Aqilah~!!!

Shan hates this pic cuz she closed her eyes, but I MAX LOVE IT (:

Then.. It's Weekdays..

Hahahahhahahaha.. But this week was really not bad cuz I enjoyed watching POL-ITES at ITE West almost every other day (: Today is the last match but nobody is free to go.. Im not really free today too.. So siann :( Hope all the teams play well today ! (: Need to thanks WengLoong for asking me to go watch on Monday! If not I won't even know when badminton polites starts~! Haha, and just nice can go accompany weiling cuz she SP supporter! woo hooo! Even tho I'm not in TP badminton but as a student of TP, of course some parts of me would want TP to earn the honour.. But, lets leave it to the team to fight for the Champion!!! Tho the outcome is already quite decided after the last few matches since its a round robin match.. Nevertheless I think all teams played great~!!!

& lucky thing is my primary school friend recognised me instantly! LOL! Nice to meet a new old friend(: I'd love to keep in contact w my old friends but its really easy to drift apart :(

PS: To even know you exist, its a great honour already (:

#YouReallySiao

Guess I will soon have to update on my two awesome weekends with the gang & my team (:
But as for now, I need to rage really badly >:( Arghh~~!!

After all that I've seen and heard, I seriously think that there is something really wrong with this batch of kss' students.. Not my batch duh.. But one of the batches after me.. Sigh, shouldn't say too much as this blog is kind of public :( You guys are really stupid, crazy and retarded.. I mean yeah I do have friends from this batch, even the closest ones but wtf are those that i know/dk, they really got smth wrong ahhh~!!?!?! And no offence to anybody, they come from that same two NA classes.. Don't have any intention to stereotype NA people definitely.. Anw I think its their own personal issues anyway.. But what are you guys doing.?!?! Yeah, you guys are doing well for your studies, I guess.?? But your manners and mindset are so screwed up that I've got nothing to say?! Some are just so ridiculous and selfish while some are plain stupid and those nice ones end up getting hurt by you.?! What what what mannn.. Ppl don't copy you ok, & ppl don't judge you, you guys just think too much.. As if the world's attention is on you guys.? Damn, no way -.- You people should be cut loose from this world, understand that actually nobody cares about what you want to do, and stop living in self pity trying to seek attention, acting like a big boss wanting ppl to be under your service and complaining non stop about your life.. This is life, this is your fucking life.. So be glad about it -.-

PS: YOU MAKE ME PISSED OFF >:/