Where is that something?

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life. All that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about. - Albert Einstein

Can't help myself

And it's gone, and it's gone..
Keep remembering this part from the song of the drama, EX.
Cuz this is the only nice part of this song I guess.. Can't help those ringing symphony of the song ringing in my head.. Anw, nowadays watching drama is a chore, chore, chore!! Fuck man, just fuck! Dk what is wrong w all the dramas that I am watching now! Every single one seems to have that same fucking plot, that same fucking piece of plot -.- Feeling so vulgar but wth.. I am pissed rn -.-

I am so tired, sleep and shag.. & this irresponsible person have the pleasure of not turning on his phone.. Then still go and turn around before he comes home.? And then he got key.. wtf.. And act like its non of his fucking business still.. Wish mom had a phone like seriously.. Arghh.. Too pissed to sleep rn.. Nothing is going smoothly..

This weekend gonna be a really busy one.. Sad to say, happy to say.? I really am not very sure.. Going to Lorriane's 21st birthday chalet to stay over~! Hope to enjoy~!

How can I feel sad and happy at the same time.?
How can I feel time flies and time crawls at the same time.?
Time is flying, yet I am still stuck in the moment.?? Its happiness all around me yet I choose to be stuck in the moment of sadness when my emotions are the strongest.? I really want to get out of this cruel world sometimes.. Want to go overseas so much.? But money is an issue -.- Sighh.. Die also can uh.. But I don't have the courage.? hahaha, and mom will be devastated.. yeah, suicide, dying, i am sure it will come across all of our minds, but to really do it, its either you're way too courageous or that you're way too selfish.. I think its stupid to die when you have problems, you're just pushing the problem to your family members..

Why people want to commit suicide.? Eliminating those that owe loansharks money, most of them die cuz they think nobody cares about them, they feel that they might as well disappear from this world.? Yeap. Thats for most of them.. And many of them just dk that there are pple who love them! So I guess we should treat those that we love w love, not hiding our love from them (: & who never think that way before.. "Nobody cares about me" "Nobody loves me" "Nobody want me" yeah, but its how your families and friends prove to you that they indeed do care about you isn't it.? & I am lucky cuz I know there are people who care about me I guess.?? & do I care about others? Oh, bloody hell yes.. So you don't fucking doubt my sincerity when I give you all my love !

Yeah, you don't fucking doubt me. you don't lie straight in my face. you don't try to use your superficial methods and think those could please me.. you just don't do this kind of things can or not.? Always contradicting what you yourself says. Cut you loose, yeah, that's what I will do, soon, soon, i promise myself.. Not letting you hurt me anymore! I believed you, I really want to trust and believe that you treat me with sincerity but I guess that's not the case.. What you're expressing are bullshits.. Shits you do.. Getting upset that you cannot bond with them.. oh yeah, you can forsake us, you totally can, just go get close w them and paw them as long as you enjoy it ok.? Don't act one pity.. Blame it on yourself for not putting in time and effort for your friends.. yeah, give everything up, just give everything up and be alone.. Only come to me when you need some service from me isn't it.? Your loneliness is your choice.. You better don't blame it on others.. I hate what you've become.. >:(

PS: Its heartbreaking to see the state you've choose to become..
(Sorry for all the vulgarities in this post)

Break Your Heart x/3

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz~ Fated with this song today~ While I was gonna tweet nowplaying to this song, weichiat tweet to us "I'm gonna break break your break break your heart" Hilarious really :D Little things in life that makes me satisfied and please (:

So first day of school was okay.. But I was really sleepy and my eyes were really dry from yesterday.. So.. Sigh..! Day 1 without my mom, enjoyed it (: Dk I cry for what ytd.. hahaha.. I really cannot accept XOs now.? Make me wanna cry onlyyyy~!! :(

So I went Ion to get some stuffs with Christine ~! ^^ Sad that Xiaoxin and Georgina got workk~ & Nixin's finger got cut ! She haven't reply my text still ~! Hais, forever !!!

About one year since I last had steamboat at steamboat shop, hehe, this year's birthday steamboat at JP's house really goooood (:

PS: Why didn't you sing this song to me.?? :<

And it's gone

So we didn't had Watami :( Had some CoCo Curry house at The Star Vista ~ So spicyyyy Imma dieeee :( Then was about to head home ytd but ting suggested KBox with Valerie ~ So there I go.. Its been awhile since I meet up with them so yeah, KBox~ Sang w my already bad throat so it got worseeee :( Sigh, oh whatever..

I am feeling emotional for no good reason now.. Get so pissed easily :( Why? :( Mom nag at me then I feel pissed.? Looking forward to tomorrow when dad and her will be going overseas? What a noob daughter -.- I hate myself.. Useless piece of shit ! School is starting tomorrow, I am not ready, like seriously.. I need to be in control of my life :( Control my thoughts, control my mind and control my actions..

I hate myself so much now that I feel like I am just a burden to my family and friends. I hate how I am feeling now. I hate this "I don't know what to do" feeling that I've been getting recently.. Everything also dk, everything also cannot decide.. Seriously how can I be so noob!?! Why can't I have a proper goal and work towards it.?! Idk what I want.. Idw anything.. Sometimes I feel like I might as well just graduate from poly then get some job that will get me through my life.. No need to be rich, just do ok will do.. Some metal bowl, sign on, nie.? Idk. Very lost now.. Sigh.. Graduate then say ba ?! Sigh~!! Guess this is it.?? Guess this is my sucky life of don't know what to do.. (-.-)|||

And I hate myself for being such a loser in front of you.. Making you sad, depressed and unhappy. That's all I am doing now isn't it.?! I want you to be happy yet I am the one hurting you.. Hate me.?? Better for you I guess.? All the promises, gone. All the trusts, gone. All the times, gone. I miss you, I miss those times we spent together.. You tell me you dowan me to let go, but I can't help feeling that if I let go, you will be happier isn't it.? Show it to me.

PS: Need to buck up.

眼泪笑了 － 刘力扬

Edited: Saw this on Sam's blog~!! HAHAHA~! I am so glad to have this keyboard friend, remember how we used to MSN till we debate, quarrel in the middle of the night.. Then next morning we are still best friends~ LOL (: Although now we spend lesser times together, but we still know what we're supposed to know abt each other and still care.? Maybe this bitch don't care about me seriously. If I need a hug she'd just give me one tight slap ba. LOL. But her texts are what keeps me believing that she still heart me yo! Truths only comes out when she spams keyboard hahhaa~~! Virtual hugs!

Unlike girls, one FFFFF is all you need and then boooom they will fall out.
Though shiman may be the exception, countless FFFFF has been thrown at her but we never fall out. But I know there are times when she also buay song also.

Reply: Of course some times will buay song what~~! We are so FFFF different~! But ah ya, you know I got a mind wired like a boy sometimes. anything just SUA SUA only~! Forgiving much, will stick by your ass forever.. hahaha~! Yeap, as long as you dont cross the line you know I don't mind doing certain things for you/friends~! (: No matter how many times you FFFFF me, as long as your heart still treats me as a friend, I won't let go of our 孽缘的～！！I will never forget you CCB on the phone at me before ! :P

Just wanna blog about this song cuz I relate so much to it.. Going to xian's in an hour cuz I really miss her and guess I could be there for her to tutor her math.. Im kinda nervous for my friends' O levels and A levels.. haha, feel like its sucha big step for them.. Hope they would make something out of it... And I am looking forward to dinnering at Watami later on with Peishan & Weiling (:

Parents going to Phuket for a week, like when my school starts. Leaving my brother and me at home alone.. Tbh, I am kind of happy. I just can't get use to my mom being at home all the time as if she doesn't need to work.. For the past 16 years she had been working all day, all night. Then suddenly she doesn't need to work that much, just sit at home read newspaper all that.. It's been around 2 years but I still cannot get use to it.. I adapt to things really slowly I guess.. 

I am left about 1 day plus of holidays... Come to think of it, I really don't know what I did for this holiday.. Best thing would be my Krabi trip I guess.. Sadness x1000 when I came back to Singapore.. All too familiar, all too scary.. Sigh.. Keep telling myself, I will be able to smile tomorrow, I will.. I guess all I can do now is to keep my faith and continue to believe that there are people for me.. It gets annoying when people emo for a long period of time.. & I want to smile so badly!! 

比想像中更痛
你真的沒回頭
我命令眼淚不許失控

回憶不跟你走
都擠在我心中
我就有責任讓它值得被珍重

謝謝你曾讓我難過
謝謝我沒有想太多
當愛情左盼右顧的時候

我眼淚都笑了 誰還想哭呢
再勇敢的站著 找回光和熱
面對你的時候 我不會捨不得
因為你已是過客 因為路有些曲折 是美的

我眼淚都笑了 誰還會哭呢
來不及完美的 就唱首驪歌
想起你的時候 我不是卑微的
反而我沒有遺憾 因為我已愛過你 深深的

心碎成了沙漠 就快開鑿綠洲
我沒有時間不知所措

你溫柔的雙手 本就不屬於我
又何必在乎它以後屬於誰呢
--
I want to thank this friend for caring about me these past two days. Its been awhile since we contacted each other but I realise that no matter how long we don't contact each other, this friendship is still there (: Really very touched, and haha, thanks for not disappointing me (: Younger than me, but so much more mature.. Treating me like a 10 year old girl.. Telling me things that I hate ! Ah bish ! Forever siah you guys ! Why do pple always do that to me.? Telling me the cruelty of others, showing me the true colours of the world.. Making me even more afraid than anything else.. *Reminders reminders* I know you meant well, like him, like her, you pple just want me to grow up, stop being so naive and gullible.. And stop trying to please others.. But she knows, I am like this. This is me. Broke down again on the phone ytd.. Then it reminds me of the previous time I broke down on the phone.. Cuz of the same person.. Sigh.. You really have the power to let my tears stream don't you.?? Cuz you can be so cold, really cold.. :<

PS: Every road, every step, just all too familiar. Remember who spam me texts and got me texting.?? (':

100th

Its my 100th post~!
This is my longest surviving blog since my lower sec blog which I've already private it cuz I was really retarded back then.. And my blog was really kuku.. Blue blue and kuku !

Dedicating my 100th post to Peishan & Samantha (:
Promised to write them my long long birthday wishes isn't it.?? (: Here I am.

TO SAMANTHA TAN WAN TING:
Hello bitch (: Ok now Idk what to tell you already la ! I know you take all my bullshit.. Say that I already telling you rubbish when I am sober cannot imagine if i am drunk..! Seriously you know whenever i tell you things its like i don't really expect anything out of it.. I just feel like sharing things to you uh.. I guess you're just someone I can trust fully.. I know you judge me to the maximum la.. But no matter what you are still there for me when I need you I guess.? I mean like.. you just let me rot at your house or whatever la.. Gosh, our friendship is just so weird.. you know sometimes I feel so unwanted by you! haha, but every time your blog, you text and everything just reminds me that you still treat me as your friend just that you don't really know how to express your concern (: I guess I can understand.. You've been in front of your computer for like dk how many years, you are just better at typing out what you think rather than saying it out.. I know A levels is important to you and you sincerely want to do well! I wish you all the best for your As and I bet you're going to score well ! You've the discipline that I lack.. You can control your mind, what you think and how you think. You've seen a lot too I guess.. I wish I could be like you sometimes, poker face, act like a nth, and control my emotions like a pro.. But I guess I can never do that.?! That is just not Shiman LOL. Can I wish that you will leave your house more often after A levels.? hahahaha :3 Thank you for being my friend for like since primary school.. Every time I am about to do smth wrong, you appear in my mind, hahaha! Sam will kill me for this ! Keeps me sane and keeps me going.. & for you, you know that I am here for you la! Throw all your troubles to me if you want a listening ear and also, you know I will help financially or physically or emotionally if i can de la hor ! So if you know I can help, just approach (: xoxo

TO YEO PEI SHAN:
I wanted to tell you a lot of things.. But always cannot say in your face, cuz you always shoot me lah ! Shiman ahh, you damn stupid ahh.. Why ah shiman whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! LOL! Later you shoot me again uhhhh! You are an understanding girl, and you know how to move on when you should ! Every once in a while think about the past, its okay la (: I am surprise how we became friends really! I thought you hated me during lower secs.. cuz like I was not your clique or wtv.. But now I guess we're stuck tgt and things have become a lot better for us.. I can't rmb how we transit and became friends eh.. Just like that lor ! you play really hard and work really hard ! Continue to do that yo!! I really salute you cuz you are always so focus and not confused by those worthless things.. Even if something bad comes before you, you still know how to shift it away and focus on what's most important.. You don't get affected by your emotions easily and thats really admirable ! Hahas, I am really glad to have you as a friend now, you always know what to do, and although you might seems pissy at times, I know in your heart you are not that angry luh hor (: All the best for A levels, rmb to take some time out to relax and enjoy.. Holland V got a lot of nice food yo! If not more white hairs coming out le uh ! I will try to make the chalet the best even if you cannot make it, you must enjoy your trip tooo ^^ Your soul is with us I know (:

--

Its hard to smile these days because nothing seems to affect me.. Been through too much.. I am not sad but just not happy.. Every smile brings me sadness.. Now I smile because I am touched, touched that you guys are still by my side.. The pain of important pple leaving my life will never leave me.. Just like if someone impt dies, the pain stays in your heart forever.. People that are alive, I can only cherish them, and smile at them. but that doesnt mean I forgot the pain.. Its still there, it will always be there (': I choose to believe in the goodness, and remember the dead at his best (': Tears welling up in my eyes for no good reason, awake in the bus for no good reason.. Physical change and mental change, its to obvious to even ignore them, just gonna accept myself for who I am.. I am like this.. Wounds heals but scars remains.. Looking for a reason to live and not merely existing.. Looking for my enthusiasm still.. Still want to believe that I will find the reason some where some time.. Just have to be brave and not to be afraid of this world.. 有人说：“你不可以这样的，要相信” I will try (:

Being an adult |:

So yeap 10 October 2012 marks my 18th birthday (:
I spent it in Krabi, worth it.. I didn't want to really have any celebration cuz they're all having their A levels and they are all really busy I guess (: I do gain more freedom now most applicable to me will be buying of drinks? hahaha, the first thing I bought in Singapore since I turned 18 (:

All my birthday celebrations flash though my minds, last year was especially vivid (: Rmb when I was in sec3, my Amaths was so screwed, then bryan they all came with water gun and strawberry shortcake! lol.. Then, sec4? Running around black market bball court.? hahaha! Last year, first time eating steamboat, Kbox surprise, and most importantly the warren bbq surprise by both the gang & six6! xoxo! Some memories really brings tears (': But they are all mine to keep, and they are all part of my life.. Why would I even want to forget them.?? Then I am forgetting part of myself.. Good ones, bad ones, they are all part of my life, I want to keep them, pain, tear, smiles or laughters, I love them equally (:

Thankful for the dinner with weiling, daphne & sixian <3
Its a mini dinner and really impromptu one, but I really appreciate it <3

Lunch with Georgina, Nixin, Xiaoxin & Christine!
Thank you loves for the card and present <3
Really appreciate it and it was really great to meet up and talk nonsense with you girls ! MISS YOU A LOT A LOT !! Gonna see you girls soonw hen school reopens ! (:

And I want to thank Charlene, for keeping her promise, someone that really makes me wanna believe that there are still people out there who give a shit about what they say to other people (: I promise you I will try to face this world with more courage !

Also, thanks those who made the effort to wish me happy birthday especially those that text message me.. Cherie you damn cute uh~!!! *WINK WINK* hahaha, crazy company boys (: Sixian with her sweetest message (: And you know who you are, my love-hate relationship with you is not going away :x Oh whatever !

And lastly, the gang (: Steamboat at Jingpeng's house, thats something I'd never expect of /:
Thanks everyone who went, talked rubbish till 3-4am~ Omg, so shagg~
The stupidest people I ever met, truth is I am not close to all of you guys, I don't game like you guys and I am like in TP, so far away from all of you and hard to talk to sometimes, I am glad that I got to know this group of friends. The real challenge comes when you guys get girlfriends one by one, enter the army, and enter the working society.. I don't want to have hopes that we will all stay together till you guys cannot play ball.. haha, just hope some of us treasure this gang and make the effort to meet up, slack and talk cock (:

Some photos:

Room service ! (:

Delifrance brownie ^^ Straw as candle! LOL

Steamboat ^^

The banner still :B

My cakee ^^

Girls ^^

Ok can, you guys did scare the hell outta me :(

And now to reply the gang cards one by one [:

Malcolm:
Hhahah, glad that you know I pay ~! So you must pay up on time !! I had a great one~! (:

Yuzheng:
Hi, monk (: Yeap, I will stay happy and yeah, we should really play badminton together soon really!

Kevin:
Thank you! You too! All the best for your studies too !

Lijie:
HOW CAN YOU THINK OF ME AS A CLUBBER!!! >:( hahaha, I haven't found it la, hope you find your happiness soon too k? Stay happy!!! Don't be afraid !

JiaHao:
Lol, what a mature birthday wish, I will try to do my best ! you're as lame as you were.. ok whatever.. Thanks a lot and youre not stupid la !

ChinGuan:
Not close to you luh! But yeap, great to know you and don't keep MIA-ing lor !!

JiaSheng:
Hahaha, finally 18 years old! Ok can! Yeah, know you for 11 years already la! Although in between got drift apart but lol, we are now in a group of friends again! Cool bro! Anw, hope you choose the right path and manage your life well! (: jiayou!

Sean:
Thanks! You're the man too! Stay fit and all the best for your A levels !!! (:

Najiha:
Everything will change, our friendship will also change,, our friendship will grow with us, mature with us and together we will grow up isn't it.? heheheh ^^ So honoured being your longest girl friends! When you've got more freedom after you A levels, meet up more often and yaye, really love you uh!

Mandi:
It doesn't matter what I've been through, cuz now I know, you will stay by my side and support me (: I know you and I have the same problem.. Sometimes getting overly emotional for no good reason.. I guess its okay, but remember I am always here for you too (: Focus now and enjoy later ! (: Love ya!

Cassandra:
Really hope we will stay in touch cuz I know you are the kind of person who gets awkward easily! Don't ever feel awkward with me okay?! you can talk to me about your JC friends you whatever I don't care luh, i will listen one ok?! hahaha, so don't ever lose contact w me (: IF NOT I GO YOUR HOUSE FINISH ALL YOUR TIDBITS!!! :D

Samantha:
I am already really happy with this simple celebration.. people makes me happy (: you make me sane ! Im sure you know this.. I know you're a cool girl, likes to stay at home, don't mind being alone and all that crap, so don't blame me when I crash your house more often hor!!!! If not I complaint o your laobu! (:

ShuKai:
Really glad to know you too! I am sure you know whats good for you and whats not.. being sensitive is good but with this group of friends, some times they dont mean what they say one luh, im sure they cherish you too.. so open up to us and dont think too much ok? (:

Chorkiat:
Yah lohhh! You busy like some chorkiat siah ! Hahaha, its good to be busy! And its really good that you have langxin plus have this group of friends right.?! Like a happy boy only isn't it.!? hahaha! All the best to your studies tooo!!!

Nathaniel:
Why do you like to call me noob.?! ok lor, don't write card lor! hahaha, you make me sound so old siah! but yeap! Its nice to have you this crazyy siao siao friend for 4 years! haha!

Bryan:
REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP! Miss eating lunch at limbang with you siah! After your A levels must ask me out to eat lunch k? I very lonely one hor ! lol... k lah, seems to be drifting apart, but now I see your card, i think got hope liao, can talk to you again! LOL!

Hanlei:
Thank you for your really cool card ! (:

Daniel:
Thank you I really enjoyed my day! (:

QinHe:
LOL AT THE CAKE! Nicely drawn actually! Not bad uh! Thank you QinHe ! Stay at this height, its a really good height ! Don't feel pressured!!

ZongYing:
haha, really uh! Thanks siah! Yupp! Stay happy and cheerful as always!! PHAIBOON!!!

JingPeng:
Among the guys I guess you're the most easy to talk to when I need to collect money or admin stuff! Thanks for lending your house to steamboat ! hahaha! And yeap even though you gave me the first impression of cool and untouchable guy, its great to be your friend now and know that you're actually quite noisy!!!

JunJie:
Thank you! You stay positive too!! Hope you get more freedom soon!!((:

THE END-

My birthday wish, as always (: Nothing new (: A wish is just a wish anyway (:
A birthday is just another day..
But I feel it, I feel that I should grow up, but I really don't know how :( Sigh...

When the ocean is a better toilet :O

Krabi, Thailand trip 2012 (0710-1010)

I don't know how to explain the fun I had there :>
I wanted a getaway, to relax and chill myself, but Krabi gave me even more (: In addition to relaxation, I got fun and thrill definitely.. Though there were some boredom, haha, I enjoyed this short getaway from all my emotions and all those familiar things (: Its been 5 days since I came back to Singapore.. All too familiar, all too scary.. I miss Krabi I guess.?? Miss the hotel bed, the hotel pool, my kuku blue flowery bike and the clear water ocean~

I brought a heavy heart there.. Looking forward to the trip to run away from Singapore and not really looking forward to go overseas.. Anywhere will do, as long as I leave this familiar place.. In the end, it was really not a bad place, cuz I don't really have to worry about losing my way there since Krabi is a small island (: This trip was really different from what I imagined.. We didn't really slacked and chill on the beach, we didn't even visit the beach ourselves actually hahaa.. In the night, its too dark to go to the beach too.. So unlike singapore (: But the starry night is amazinggg !! The stars over there is like sparkling and the night sky simply look magical ! Hahahaha ~!

First day:
Landed and we started to our hotel, walked around the Aonang road side stalls, booked our tours and went to the night market at the Krabi town.. A lot of food there yooo ~! delicious ~!! Milk tea there is a must try especially for pple who like sweet stuffs ~ :B

Second day:
4 island tour. I guess this is the boring part, cuz all the island looks about the same.. And when you wanna go toilet, mamaaa, you might as well go to the ocean to release yourself man ! Toilet there dirty and you still need pay 40cents SGD to enter. LOL /: I guess its better if we could just chill at one beach with resort or smth to wash up.. Cuz beach after beach makes it boring.. Snorkeling wasn't as fun as I thought, cuz the reefs at Krabi isn't all that fascinating.. I would like to go to other places with prettier reefs to snorkel (: The boat was really cool though ! I like it a lot ~!

Then we went for massage.. OH MY HOLY MAMA :( Pain until like madd, and my right shoulders hurt like for the next few days.. due to old wound plus the strong massage :( I'd never pick thai massage ever again :( First time massage and its such a bad experience for me :( PAIN DAOO :(

Dope of the second day is whereby we picked up our courage to rent bike~! LOL, real motorbikes!
hahaha, Idk how to explain the thrill of riding the bike and being the passenger~! Just too scaryy and thrilling~!! :DDDDDDD

Third day:
Best day over there.? Cuz its likeee the activities were awesomeeee!
Elephant trekking was ok-ok.. I don't really like it so mehh~
Flying fox was cool.? hahaha, short span but not bad yo!
White water rafting was not badddd ! If I had more monehh I won't mind going for the more exciting one ! hahaha ! & the current almost swept me awayyy ~! >:( Luckily I was safe hehe, quck quck pulled me back ! (:
ATV!!! AWESOMEEEE ! Just that the route a bit standard.. & I banged into a tree.. LOL, like whut !
Fish spa was... -.- I AM AFRAID OF TICKLISH STUFF LAAA ! :(((

On a side note, I really pity the animals over there at Thailand.. What suffering did they went through to be trained till this amount of discipline.? Arghh.. Can't do anything but feel so heartache.. Thats why I hate animal shows.. Singapore's one was okay, tolerable for me, but over there, gosh, too pain to even watch the show :<

Back to hotel bike again ((: WEEEE (:
Bike to some old Aonang restaurant to have our dinner... And back to hotel.. Room service birthday cake (: Thank you WeiLing for planning that pleasant surprise ((:
And thanks JunHao & Euroy for not showering while waiting for the cake to come which took like forever ! Appreciate it (: hahaha (:

Forth day:
Short breakfast, return our bike, and taadaaa, head back to Singapore /:
SO SAD :<

At the DFS!! Haha, bought liquor, the cashier was like, you are still 17 right.? need to pass 12 midnight then 18.?! LOL Weiling was like then you celebrate your birthday tomorrow meh.? hahaha.. Luckily her supervisor more reasonable, tadaa! Got my ICE WINE <3 <3 & Mom's tiger beer (: Kinda regretting, should bought Chivas instead of Vodka, since I don't like vodka >_< (Very tempted to open my ice wineeee >_<)

--

Should thank this AhJin for planning the trip (: Thanks Weiling for being sucha badass to go with me! hahaha, lovesss ! And thanks JunHao for tolerating our retard actions and lameness.. Like a cool boy :> 

Was really a pleasant trip that freed me from all worries (:
Question in mind: Genting Baby~~~?? With the gang.?? /:

Septwolve

This title is a joke :P for those who get it good for you, for those who don't then too bad~! LOL~!
This post is for me to post rubbish, so whateverrrrrr !

I've not been using comp cuz I was busy working, literally.. Really busy !
Almost 10 weddings in 2 days, what the shit you pple who take on the events thinking.!?! Want my life is it.? LOL.. Hahaha.. & yeap, I am finally having my break now.. Not working for one week from today (: I guess working helps me to pass my time really, its good.. but now, to the point that I am crumbling physically, feeling so eff-ing shag even though I've rested for a day, I need a break.. Not for my brain but for my health too :( Sigh, hope my body will be okay~

I got zero talent for pretending, acting and lyingg~! ZEROOOOO~!!!!
Laughing like siao when I read through Sam's post about her birthday..

September.. Last year, was disaster..
This year, its worse than disaster..
Like what you say, Whirlpool.?! haha, what a joke..
I sincerely feel that nothing can make me wanna laugh.. Cuz nothing is more like a joke than my life !
Last last week, for 4 days straight, I cried.. Haha, dk for fuck really !
A hug makes it even worse, worse than ever~!!!! Sorry I had to tell you to not hug me so that my tears won't fall, but really, Idk why I cry.. Maybe I miss you too much.?! Or maybe all the feelings just gush into me when you embrace me.. Idk, i really don't know.. What am I embracing.? All the pain and fears.?! Its rare to see me breakdown, its even more rare to see me breakdown in front of pple that I am not close with ! So paiseh when he enter ! Haha, cried a puddle of tears, how pathetic can I get.?! I just don't know what to believe and what not to believe anymore !!! Sigh, 我就是傻傻的，相信你会对我诚实，可是你真的诚实吗？很多心里的话你没告诉我对吧？信任？我对你的信任是100％，你对我的又是多少呢？我很害怕，真的很害怕，你们都太厉害了，装得那么好，我的演技实在不如你们，又怎么能跟得上呢？Honesty, I yearn so much for it :O I know certain things that you don't say, i am not unfeeling if thats what you think of me.. But it hurts so much when you hide those thoughts from me, cuz you're afraid to hurt me.?! Nahh, you just don't believe I can handle them~  /:
Typing all these out just makes my tears wanna fall again~ Sighh~

I don't know a lot of things.
I don't know how to start to doubt people.
I don't know how to differentiate joking or serious talk.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!!!!!!!!

PS: 明明不太悲壮，却受了英雄的伤～

Bye September

I've got a lot on my mind in the first place, but now that I am here, I don't know what to post about. So, I guess I am just gonna post about some events blah blah blah ~

September, the month when my 2 important friends became 18 (: Samantha Tan & Yeo Pei Shan (:

Sam's birthday celebration (22092012)
Her birthday is on 23rd though (:
& I just realise I have photos in my phone that I haven't uploaded.. /:
Need to find some time to upload I guess..
So almost the whole gang went except Jiasheng & hanlei !

Had a hot and fun time at Marina Barrage (: It was really hot though~
Then we went to MBS to had Kraze burgers for dinner, watch laser show & cut cake ! YIPEE !

Photos <3

PeiShan's Birthday! (25092012)

Celebrated on her actual day ! All the best for A levels !
Timbre for dinner and drink ~ Sweet and chill out night with this girl, Daphne, Afiqah & WeiLing~ It's sad that SiXian cannot make it cuz she's having her O lvls soon~~

Photos not up yet :>

& dedications to my birthday girls, please wait for it .. hahaha .. Need the mood, time and place to be correct (:

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Yup that's how I end my September & started October with dinnering at some Rex Restaurant at Dhoby Ghaut with Haziqah, Malini, Amirul & Jeff (: