Confusion

Confused, my state of mind right now.

Need some time to plan the week ahead.

I really need to learn how to plan my time and all.
Some time for family, friends, myself and everything else.
Giving up some for the better ones?
(I wonder if that's how you felt when you give up on me)

Still very tired after my Taiwan trip.
Lots of things that I want to record down here. Might need a day or more.

PS: This post is kind of redundant /:

UK Study Trip 2013

OUR ITINERARY (:

10-12Mar
A visit to University of Manchester, Manchester Town Hall, Old Trafford and the University of Sheffield.

13-14Mar
Visit to University of Liverpool, Liverpool Law Clinic, International Slavery Museum, Beatles Story, University of Leicester and Leicestershire Youth Council.

15-16Mar
A visit to University of Warwick, Warwick Centre for Human Rights in Practice, Conventry Law Cantre, Warwick Castle and Shakespeare's Birthplace and Exhibition and Stratford upon Avon.

17-20Mar
A guided tour of Oxford University, visit to University of Southampton, Death Penalty Project, CILEX, Inns of Court and Royal Courts of Justice.

I thought I am going to write a lot about this trip, but then now that I finally have the time to sit down and blog, I realise many things cannot be explained by typing them out, we've got to experience them ourselves. I cannot put my experience of this trip into words as I feel that even words are not enough to describe the exposure I got from this trip. From the snowflakes forming on the windows of the airplane to the excitement when I felt when I was about to reach home to the warmth of Singapore. I really am thankful to my generous parents who are willing to fork out so much money for me. They might not always be my pillar of support mentally (cuz I don't pour my childish feelings to them), but they have been trying to give my brother and me the best financial support they can. I feel bless and grateful to them. Especially Mom, she must have missed me so much (':

Manchester:

Liverpool & Leicester:

Warwick:

Warwick Castle & two new friends I made during the trip! Childish Elisha & Wenceslaus fighting!!

Oxford, Southampton:
Waking up to snowfall, morning exercise with snowball fights <3 Bonus!

London:

My childish lao peng yous Amirul & Karen, My roommates Amanda & Jastine & our wonderful teachers~!!! Its still really fun to have time to catch up with my year 1s friends, my roommates were really cool~! Its really nice to stay with them, no hassles at all !! (: & the two teachers that took good care of us!

Also, now I know the famous bridge of london is not london bridge but called towers' bridges!

I need to thank those people on the trip that brought so much fun to me (: My room mates Amanda and Jastine who were so understanding of women's needs and chiong pack luggage together!! hahaha! Wenceslaus for being so high and fun?? Elisha for letting me watch movies on his laptop until all of us knock out ! And especially Agatha, YY & WeiChiat (Although I always box you!) The fun & laughters cannot be measured even though I am always the one that they are laughing at >_< hehe xoxo! <3

All in all it was definitely an informative trip that allow me to think a lot more about my future and the route I should be heading towards since my gpa is quite malnourished now and all.. After I told my Aunt about the criteria and all I am glad they are still supportive of me. Uncle Ed even say, don't go to a lousy uni because of low GPA, take entry exams! hahaha, I am glad, to have a whole kampung behind me ^^ 

PS: I suddenly felt home sick ~ 

To what's ahead

我经常损你，是因为我相信我们的关系。
I believe that no matter what is before me, you'll still be by my side. Guess I am always wrong.. You leave, he left, she is gone, they walked on.. Facing the cold hard truth that nobody is going to stay by my side forever.. I am afraid.. I am afraid that I might lose all I have now..

I am selfish am I.? I don't want to share things sometimes!! Arghh!! Not jealous though, just don't understand why some pple can be so lucky and some pple can be so unlucky.. From what family you're born in to the opportunities presented to you in different situations, I just cannot understand.. Fair, equality, all these are just plain bullshits to me now!! zz.. Nothing is fair tbh... I feel like slapping myself in the face when I recall how i tell my mom "Mommy not fair leh" when i was still young and childish.. But the sad part of my life now is that I don't fight for fairness or equality anymore even if it is unfair towards me. I will just tell myself, nothing is fair in this world, too bad, you just gotta suck it up ! Aiyah, this world is like that one la, where got fair one la!

I hate the fact that I think this way now.

PS: When will lady luck be in my favour ??

Courage

I want to have hope, to have hope in this world that it could be meaningful.

I need to have courage to face all the challenges and unhappiness ahead.

I need the strength to wait and persevere on till something good comes along.

--------------------

Exam period never felt so real.

I disappointed myself for OB already~ (How could I get that simple question wrong?!)

I do not want to disappoint myself for BA2!!

But as my dislike for BA never dies, my procrastination never stops!

Argh, sometimes I really hate myself for not being responsible enough for my own studies!

Accounting, please be nice to me when I wake up tomorrow, I promise to embrace you for 3 more days~ /: (Even though I want to puke typing this, I guess it kind of motivates me ba?) 

PS: 快乐炼成泪水 是一种勇敢 － 我没有想要勇敢，却被逼的不得不勇敢 :< I've never want to be strong, I just wanted to be free. If I can only choose between being free and being dependent, I really don't know how to choose right now. But for now, I will just stick to being free cuz I don't see anyone that I can rely on totally~ (:

I see kindness in everyone, that's me. Easily forgotten, that's me too. Loving everyone, that's also me. Always putting others' convenience in front of mine, that's still me. I don't think I love myself a lot, or maybe I love myself too much? I feel okay as long as people are happy that's why I am happy to make them happy!

& to a girl who always think that she is evil and all, didn't you see my vday card to you babe? I see that huge lump of kindness in you. Volunteer work and all that, you always sounds sarcastic and all, but I know you are really a kind girl at heart, I will always believe in that kind soul of yours <3 Please be happy, and stop saying that you are evil <3

CNY'2013

GONG XI FA CAI EVERYONE ^^

With Mum <3

Reunion dinner with Grnadma (:

Bro 

Gang :D

Yu Zheng

Bryan

YY's for Buffet !!! ^^

WAR!!!! 

Post-war hair condition :p

Basically all of the above sums up my Chinese New Year this year.??
Cny is a period for me to visit long lost relatives, mini catch up with cousins and all (:
Its going to end, I am really sad about this :(
Haven't even play mahjoong with friends~

For this year, its definitely a catch up with my QQ.QT PIE Jovie Chan Xuan Qi ! :D
Yes, she might look so cute in all these photos, but she is really annoying real life ok?!
Yeah, she love to take pictures, especially using Action Cam (-____-)
So many unglams of me got deleted by me already HAHAHA
And she talks like a 6 year old when she is just 4 ! Noisy daoooo~!
But still, her random hugs and kisses cheers me up a lot ^^

Visiting at Cass' house was awesome as ever (: Thanks for your warm welcome!
Her Mom really prepared lots and lots of food for us!
& her dad bought lots of lots of beers! (Although I don't really like, but still ! )
Lou hei, shaving yuzheng's and bryan's hair, "sending them off" for army and all ~
We have grown up really ~ From staying back in school to mug for o levels, to A levels and now NS. While they are in NS, poly students will be facing FYP and interns~ How things change? But change is inevitable definitely (:
朋友不是先来的人或者认识最久的人，而是那个来了以后再也没有走的人。

Ok, how did a happy cny post became so emotional (TT) Nahhhh ~!!!

Haha continue! Buffet at YY's house was awesomeeee !
Thank you YY for the delicious food !!! :D
It was really an enjoyable day~!! It was really great to have you people in my life although you guys always make fun of me and bully me! I am glad (:

On a side note, I truly believe that it is important to be independent but not alone.

这世界的风霜雨雪太大。心一旦被打湿了，受潮了，只有自己把它搬到阳光底下去晒，才能寻找到温暖，才能不让它发霉，才能把角落深处的那个阴影驱逐。因为，他人的施舍总是那样不可靠和不稳当。 @ChineseLQuotes 26 01 13 4:38 PM

Stress Management

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

PS: Interesting thing i saw on facebook! 不管未来如何，我们的回忆始终不会变～ No matter what is going to happen, how much is going to be changed, our memories will still be kept the same~ So keep the memories, don't worry about the changes!

Law Advocacy 2013

The finalists ^_<

Cupcakes with love <3

Firstly must congrats Chan & Kevin for winning the finals!! (Cupcakes for them!)

They were really good!! :D 

They were so nervous during the trial(?), proud of them ! :D 

And I think that all participants are really brave esp Georgina & Christine!! hehe^^

I wonder if I am that brave /: 

All in all it was a great friday for me ytd <3

From lunch with Nixin & Chris @ Lenas to shopping with Meitong, Linfang & Shaoyan to Advoc to Bus ride with Jessica to woodlands and definitely my night with TheArmyGang at Sam's (:

Ah, drinking at Sam's.. Some guys uh, really drink too fast & too proud to stop drinking! Tsk tsk!

But it was fun chilling and talking crap with them as always (: Can't wait for two more days to go to Cass' and eat those delicious food that her mom cooks and a last celebration before the NS men enter the army (: Time really flies ~

PS: I met someone who meant the world to me and then I realised that the world didn't really mean that much to me..

Wrong ones

Having insomnia for the past two days! So not me seriously!! /:

是否回忆，有时令你嘴角上扬，有时也能让你潸然泪下。Memories. They have the ability to make you smile, but also the power to make your tears roll.

Sometimes I really feel guilty towards certain people. Those that I feel that I don't put enough effort to connect with them and all that. A lot, a lot of them. Putting my effort at the wrong places and at the wrong ones. As always. Hais, shiman ah shiman, why you so lousy?

I miss those times where you treat me well and I treat you well back. You give me your 100% and I give you my best too. But this world shows me that even if you give pple you best, they might give you just part of themselves and that part might not even be real. This is how cruel this scary society is. Ive learnt that for now. Not going to be the stupid one that keeps giving in without assessing what the other party give in exchange anymore. Faith in humanity broken, totally. So what if everybody lies, no one is listening and taking things seriously isn't it.??

多少美好的东西消失和毁灭了，世界还像什么事也没有发生。是的，生活在继续着。可是，生活中的每一个人却在不断地失去自己最珍贵的东西。生活永远是美好的；人的痛苦却时时在发生。——《平凡的世界》

PS: What an irony to always be thinking about the one that you aren't suppose to be thinking about and not caring for those that should be cared for. (Like how I always miss my niece instead of showing my bro more concern? But she is the cutest thing alive and I'm thankful for all the joy that she brought to me ^^) Fuck off the wrong ones /:

Semester 2.2 & updates

Yes, semester 2.2 is coming to an end.

Which means 2/3 of my poly life is going to be over, I am over the moon, yes, I am.

I just want to graduate soon. This sem, is where I put my hard work in. Ok, not really, but better and definitely more compared to the first half of my poly life, I screwed half of it, I am not going to screw it any further for anything or anyone. I know it might seems fruitless trying to pull up the already very low gpa, but for now, my goal is not my gpa, its just responsibility and consistency, I need to buck up, studies and life. Currently quite satisfied with my grades but still disappointed with conveyancing project and company law quizzes! Sigh! Hope the other components can pull me up! Haha, I didn't do badly for accounting and that's what I am most proud of! CUZ ACCOUNTING SUCKS TO THE MAX!!!!

And yeah, I have not been blogging properly! Just random splashes of quotes and thoughts, how could I.?! But I am really too tired to be blogging! But after last thursday, things are getting better. All my submissions submitted and presentations over~ *Relief* (You don't know how happy I am!) Ok, but I am still left with one burden Beijing Opera project for my Understanding Theatre subject :( And oh, there's a test this wednesday. Must do well hor shiman!

& I am really lacking of exercise nowww! In need of them! Haven't been swimming and doing sports :( No time previously but now, its that I am sickkk! Yes, 我生病了！So I cannot do sports :( Arghh.. Anw, Mom bought me a new nike sports shoe to replace my worn out adidas! Yaye! :D I am gonna wear it soon kayz??? Love you mom <3

Ok, finally done uploading photos from my phone to comp, now I can upload them here now and update about the outings I had in 2013 :B

Ok, firstly some pics that I wanted to post but didnt (:

Najiha's birthday at Strictly pancakes with the girls~! 

We haven't meet up since then!! This was in what? December? 

Christmas celebration with my mini santa <3

OK, HERE COMES 2013!

COUNTDOWN CHALET WITH BMT PPL :D

Countdown Chalet~! Featuring Secret Santa! 

Present exchange was awesome ok? <3 it !

Werewolves all night long was also damn mindfucking fun (:

Night cycling, the must! Was damn shiok toooo :D

Can't do without this crazy company, hope there won't be any conflicts!

BRYAN'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (ZOUK)

Surprise! Happy birthday Bryan Wong!

Hope you were surprised! Nah, I know you were! :D

Fish & Co with them & Zouk! (I still don't find love for clubbing, pardon me qinhe)

NANA & FIRLULU'S WEDDING <3

Whose wedding cupcakes are these? Nana's & firdaus!

Happy marriage to them both, best wishes (:

marriage, a topic too far for me to imagine, but yet I can see that it is closer to me than ever these are my friends, yes, I am attending friends' wedding already. Sounds old yeah? But nevertheless I am happy for this tallie and shorty couple. Always so cute :3

The girls <3

The Boys (:

The cutie couple~ My photo with them not yet uploaded /:

NAT, CHINGUAN, QINHE & JIAHAO'S BIRTHDAY! (PRAWNING)

Celebrating the 3 gheys' birthday! (Jiahao didnt come!!)

So glad we all still live in cck, even the photographer was from our ex sch LOL

Prawninggg! I shall talk about the prawning session!

Aww man such cruelty!!! They should provide ice to knock out those poor prawns first!

Arhh, we had to pluck their pincer while they were still alive.. 

And worse! We had to poke satay stick through the live prawns!!! FCUKKK!

I couldn't do it.. Poke halfway, the prawn wriggled and my heart melted... fagg~

I wish I could end its life in a more swag way so that it won't suffer so much :(

PROJECTS SUBMISSION DAY! 

Thanks Georgina for the flower xoxo!

My CDS groupmates! One more submission to go! (:

Melvyn's like an angel here LOL (He is always one la ok?)

My OB groupmates and classmates x 

Through all these times :D

01022013! FIRST FEBRUARY!
So we decided to relax a bit after all the shit ass submissions (:
KISEKI BUFFET! (Which I had for free)

Just realised my eyes are closed ._. But I am lazy to upload the other one now!

Gibson and WeiChiat really look like Sumos! /:

It was a really nice buffet cuz I never had one like this.. Ok maybe cus of my lack of experiences in buffet thus I got a free meal LOL.. But I feel ok.. WC ask you not guilty one meh? hmm, in my mind I was like, were the workers gonna get scolded? NO. Will they lose a lot of money? NO. So, why must I feel guilty? I would rather take the money to donate to charity or treat you guys coffee bean :D

Just a photo during steamboat and before Ah boys to men (:

PS: Self control is vital. And to accept that change is inevitable.